I think I am ready to be skinny. I think I am ready to eat better and exercise. I’m ready to be healthy. I’m really ready to feel like me again, and not some fat blob who’s self conscience about myself. I know I’ve said this all before, but I think I’m ready now. My goal is to start when school starts. I will do my walking in the mornings, and hopefully work a walk into the evenings. I’ve like to get a Yoga DVD, to do at home. I can’t stand doing things like Tae Bo. It’s to much for me. I’m going to plan out me meals and all that.

I just want to look good in clothes again. I want to go shopping and not leave in a bad mood because I’m not fat for everything. I liked it much better when I tried clothes on and the dilemma was “God, everything looked so cute! What am I going to get, because I can’t afford it all!” Also, sex was so much better when I was thinner. Seriously, right now, I am a lazy ass.

“Get on top? For real? Do, I have to?”

I seriously am winded after like 3 minutes, and totally over it, if I have to do any more of the work. I think Jeremy is the same way. Ha.

Right now, I am weighing in at 171.5lbs !!! Dude, I’m 5′4″! This is the heaviest, I have EVER weighed!!! Even when I was my fattest when I was with Chuck, I was like 10 lbs. lighter. I’ve got 50lbs. to lose! 50!!!!!!!! This is going to be work, but it will feel so good when I start getting down. The best part of exercising and being healthy is you start feeling great and good about yourself like the first week…before you’ve even really lost any weight at all. I need to remember that. I’m hoping that being *cough* 32 *cough* isn’t going to make it harder to lose the weight then when I was 27. Hoping.

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Man, the week just flew by. When it was Friday, it seemed like it should have been Wednesday at the most. Crazy how that happens. The weekend flew right on by also. Every Friday we have to drive to L.A. to meet Chuck there and give him the kids. Then we always go out to eat, and then back home and watch t.v. go on the internet, Jeremy on his computer. This Friday however, we ate not long before we left. So we stopped at a Starbucks so I could get a coffee, and Jeremy got a Jamba Juice. Lucky for him. As we were walking to the elevator to get to the car, the guy says “Hey Britney!” HaHa! I grumbled all the way to the elevator about how that is a total put down in this day and age to resemble Britney Spears! About 4 years ago, I was driving down the street, and this guy is totally checking me out and I come up to a light. The guy is right next to me. He rolls his window down and waves for me to do the same. So I do, and he all excitedly asks me if I’m Britney Spears. LMAO! I was like no sorry…not Britney…but she’s hot…so thanks! Now days, you know, not so much. I’ve had many a guys tell me I look like her at bars when I used to partay all the time. I don’t see it. I’m thinking it’s the far apart eyes? I’ve also had this guy tell me I look like Sandra Bullock. Ha! Oh yeah…not.

Anyway, Saturday we went to the OC, to pick up a new front end I think it is for the bug that Jeremy bought on eBay. Drove by my old apartment I lived in from ages 7-10. It all looked the same. Isn’t it funny though when your a kid, and you remember your street being soooooo loooooong. This apartment is on a cul-de-sac, and riding my bike to the corner was a big deal, because it was all the way to the corner. Well the street is short as shit! Ha! I also drove by my Grandparent’s house a couple years back, and I remembered their driveway was so long. Like it seemed like a mile long. Yeah well it was a little longer then average. Nothing crazy at all. Funny how that happens.

Today was a shit day. Jeremy was a rude fuck, and pissed me off. At about 4 he ran to his computer like he always does when he does something wrong, and just now got off of it. It’s midnight. Now he’s making something to eat, and watching t.v. Apparently he’s not full anymore from his breakfast. We are not talking. Apparently when your a fucking dick to someone, you just fucking ignore them and act like they did something to you. I didn’t know that. The things you find out when your 34 year old boyfriend acts like a 14 year old boy.

Anyway, that is all.

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So, my usual time of going to sleep at night is usually about 4 am.  Give or take 30 minutes. Which makes me wake up around noon!!!  By the time I shower and get ready for the day it’s easily 1:30 pm!  I actually hate it so much.  So last night  I  set my alarm for  9:30 am.  Jeremy kissed me goodbye this morning at 8:30,  and I thought I should just get up.  So after Betty wouldn’t snuggle with me,  I got up and showered. Good thing too, because my alarm didn’t go off. Even my alarm is lazy, and wants to sleep in!  So, now at 11:55 am, I have washed two load of laundry,  one in the dryer still, folded clothes from last friday, done a PPP post already, and did my make-up and my hair! Trust me though I am yawning like a mofo right now! It is taking all I have not to go lay in my bed right now and take a nap! Sheldyn though is still passed out!!! Ha! She’s like her Mama! Chase is the early riser! No matter how late he is up, he wakes up early. I wonder if that will continue into his teenage years? I was never a huge sleeper when I was a teenager. That might have to do with my Mom, always making us get up fairly early on the weekends, and on summer vacation I would get wake up calls, and have choirs to do, like cleaning the house and such. So, now, I’m catching up!

Anyway, here’s hoping that I don’t take a nap, and I go to bed at a normal time tonight!

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I was so sick and tired of programs telling me I didn’t have enough space on my hard drive. When I got my printer/scanner a couple days ago, I thought the scanner just sucked ass or something…but no, I didn’t adjust the dpi. I was thinking damn, this scanner is fast!!! Well it was only scanning 300 dpi, because that’s what it adjusted to considering the space I had. So I figured out I can adjust it higher. Well I could had I had more space on my hard drive. So, I was sick of it. Plus, I have been wanting to get an external hard drive anyway. I didn’t want something bad happening to my computer, and bye bye all pictures I have on my computer. Music, I could live without, but all my pictures! No way in hell. So, we went to Best Buy, and I had looked on the internet before hand. I found a 250GB hard drive on sale for $99. Well we get there, and we see a 500GB hard drive for only $119. So, I figured for double the sttorage the $20 was well worth it! So I go up to check out, and it rings up for $159, and totals for like $178. We tell him that they are on sale, there is a big yellow sign. So he leaves to go check, and Jeremy follows. I guess it was for another product, but was placed directly under the one I got. So he gave it to us for that price! So I got out of there for $40 less! So, now I am typing this as everything I have is backing up on my new hard drive. Now this computer can take a shit, and the only thing I will lose is the computer and not everything else. Love it!

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