I am probably the least motivated person you will ever meet. The only thing I am motivated to do, are the things I have to do.
WHAT I AM MOTIVATED TO DO
- I am motivated to get the kids up and ready for school.
- I am motiated to feed my children.
- I am motivate to make sure they do their homework, and sign it off.
- I am motivated to get the kids to take baths and go to bed.
- I am motivated to wash their clothes on Friday and pack their bag for their Dad’s.
- I am motivated to take them to their Dad’s and pick them up on Sunday.
- I am motivated to wash my clothes when I run out.
- I am motivated to clean the house when it is a complete pig sty and I can’t stand sitting in it any longer.
- I am motivated to clean the bathrooms, when they start looking worse then a truck stop.
- I am motivated to do the dishes, when the sink is so full you can’t rinse another plate…or there are no more forks. Which ever comes first.
- I am motivated to go grocery shopping when there is absolutely nothing to eat.
- I am motivated to get out of bed, but only at the last possible minute.
- I am motivated to get showered and ready when I know I have just enough time, before I have to leave to get the kids from school.
- I am motivated to get something to eat, when I am completely starving to death.
- I am motivated to take a nap, whenever I feel like it.
- I am motivated to go to bed, at the last possible minute.
- I am motivated to sit on the computer all day long.
- I am motivated to chain smoke and kill myself, even though I know it is bad for me, and I really want to be able to quit.
- I am motivated to take my 365 picture for the day, but 98% of the time, I wait until almost bed time. When I know I’d get a better picture during the day.
- I am motivated to wash Jeremy’s clothes, when he tells me he’s on his 3rd day of wearing the same boxers and socks and jeans and a recycled shirt.
That’s all I can think of now, but hey, you get the picture. I am one lazy god damn person! How does one have motivation to do things at all. I totally lack it. Inside me, I want to be like Martha Stewart. I am really anal about things, and I like perfection, but my whole life around me is a fucking mess! You’d never know. I love organization. I like things to be lined up perfectly. I love cleanliness, but I don’t do that at all. I wash my clothes, and then I throw them up on top of my dresser, which turns into a mound of balled up clothes, that I pick from. You can’t even see the floor of our bedroom, because Jeremy’s clothes are covering the entire floor. I swear to god, we walk on clothes and not carpet.
When I was married to Chuck, he expected me to clean the house while he was at work, and do the laundry. So, I did that. He used to work Saturday’s for most of our marriage, and on Saturday’s, I cleaned like a mad woman! I was literally on my hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen & bathroom floors with a brush and rag. I was scrubbing the stove perfectly clean. Wiping down cabinet doors, and cleaning the refridgerator. scrubbing the shower and sink. Vacuuming, dusting, doing laundry and bedding. I would wake up at 8am, and start cleaning. I’d finish cleaning in time to be showered and ready by the time he got home. I was on top of it! Only because it was expected of me though.
Jeremy on the other hand, is so laid back and easy going. He doesn’t expect me to clean all day or anything like that. He would never tell me that. He doesn’t even bitch when he doesn’t have clean clothes. He just tells me, in hopes that I will wash some laundry for him the next day.
I kind of wish he as more demanding…but not really. I really wish I had just an inkling of motivation. I don’t even have motivation to do the things I like to do. Like taking pictures, or crafting. I just don’t, and it’s sad really. It’s almost like I’m wasting my life just sitting on my ass. I get nothing accomplished.
