I just had a pretty bad panic attack. My heart is still pounding in my chest, and I’m still shaky.
I haven’t had one in a while, and this time I am all alone. I think when I’m alone it is even worse then if someone’s home. Even if the kids were home, it would be better.
So, this time I’m reading Perez Hilton and all of a sudden, I feel my chest tighten, heart starts beating really fast, I’m taking deep breaths, because I feel like I’m not getting enough air, and I’m sure that I am going to die any minute. So, I get up and stretch my arms out, which I tend to do when I feel weird in my chest, walk to the front door, and open it so I don’t feel so alone.
It’s so much better when Jeremy is here and I can go tell him. It makes me feel better.
I’ve been out of my blood pressure medicine for a few days. So, then I start freaking out thinking I’m having a heartattack because I haven’t taken it. So, I call CVS, and check and it’s there. So I started feeling better.
Man, those attacks are so icky. I don’t understand why they happen, or what that medication (Lorazepam) is supposed to do for my panic attacks. They come on suddenly, and leave fairly quickly. The pill isn’t going to hit me within seconds, and by the time the pills hit me, my panic attack would be long gone. What’s the point in taking some highly addictive sedative hypnotic drug. I guess that’s the reason I’ve never taken one.



