In no particular order…

1. Take 5 pictures a day that are not self portraits.
2. Appreciate what I have.
3. Live in the moment.
4. Love myself by taking care of myself.
(no smoking, eat right, get exercise, laugh more, be mad less)
5. Show my family that I love them regularly.
6. Have a clean & organized house.
7. Listen to more music.
8. Walk the dogs at least once a day.
9. Eat in more than out and at the table as a family.
10. Be on the computer less.

Do you ever have one of those days or a few days where you are just down and sad? When you think about your life your eyes fill with tears, and they just kind of fall out of your eyes onto your lap? Am I the only person who is disappointed with how her life is in almost every single aspect?

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If you follow my Flickr stream you already know, but we got a new puppy last Saturday, June 21, 2008.

Yes, we are completely fucking nuts, and are totally irresponsible. It was bound to happen at some point. Usually, we are able to come to our sense before we jump. However, this time the guys were letting everyone pick up the puppies. Touch them, and love on them. It was also hot as hell, like 107 degrees. So, I’m sure that lead to the temporary lapse in judgment also.

So, it has been 9 days. Which have flown by really fast. I think a lot of it was because my sister was down. She’s gained over 2 pounds, and I think she looks fuller. I took her to the vet last week, and he said she looked about 5 weeks, and not 3 weeks. So, I don’t know how old she is. LOL!

She has went from sleeping all day long, minus about 15 minutes a day, to sleeping in 2-4 hour increments, with boughts of being awake for 15 minutes- 1 hour.

Right now she is “nursing” on Betty. Betty’s boobies at the bottom seem to look big, like real boobs! I don’t know if she is lactating or what? Annabelle keeps going for the same nipple, and it’s all pink/red and sore looking. Yet, Betty just lays there like a new Mama…letting the baby suck away.

Annabelle pees more then anything I have ever seen in all my life. More pee then you would think could come out of her little body. It’s crazy. It’s getting kind of annoying too. today, I need to sanitize my floor, because she has pee’d and pooped everywhere. Oh there she went to piss some more on the carpet right now.. Mmmm. Great!

She’s pee’d on my bed twice. The last time was this morning. Jeremy just washed the bedding yesterday. Great. I have those god awful pee pads all over my house.

She is drinking formula, that costs $20 a can for. She uses one of those every 4 days. Got her some wet food, and dry food to soak in water. she seems to like those both also.

Last night, I made her this little bed out of those plastic shoe boxes that you organize with. I put her blankie in there, along with a wee wee pad…just in case she pee’d on the way to get the kids. I thought the box would be more sturdy, and less movement for her. She threw up all over my shirt and the side of my jeans. I didn’t realize until it felt really warm in those spots and it smelled of formula really strongly. It was formula mixed with wet food. Mmmm. It didn’t really phase me. I looked in the box, and apparently it saved me. There was about a cup of vomit in the box. I just got a little bit of it on me.

It’s sorta like having a baby, except this baby pisses and shits all over your floor. I thought I was getting when she had to pee. Like whenever she woke up, she was going to pee. Now, she does this huge pee where ever, but if I’m lucky it will be half on the wee wee pad, and half off. Half the clean up! Yay! Then does these little pee’s all over the place. It’s driving me nuts!

She’s really cute though!!! HaHa!

I also am not loving the fact that I have to time every single thing around when she sleeps, and eats. Oh, she is going to want to eat in 1 1/2 hours, we gotta wait! Even for bed!

The past 2 nights, I have kept the door to the crate off, so she can pee on the pee pad outside the crate…rather then in her bed. Yesterday, she woke up, and pee’d on the carpet by the pee pad. Then cried, until I woke up and got her. This morning, I wake up, and I don’t see her anywhere. I am freaking out trying find her in my half sleeping stupor. I looking under the kids beds, behind doors, She’s nowhere. There was a comforter on the couch from when my sister stayed. The dogs have pushed it practically all on the floor. I’m calling Annabelle’s name. Betty come running out of the bedroom, and starts sniffing. Sure enough, 30 seconds later she has sniffed her out in the comforter completely covered.

As cute as puppies are, they sure are a lot of work. More work then I want to do. I think this is going to be the last puppy I ever get though. At least this young. When we got Betty, she was already 3 months old, and while a puppy…she ate regular food, went potty outside, and was just a lot easier!

On Saturday my brother’s girlfriend Agnes text messaged me on our way to Mongolian BBQ and asked if I wanted to go shoot some pictures and then hang out at my brother’s work…because you know he was working all night long.

    Jeremy gave me the stink eye, when he saw me wanting to go. I really wanted him to come along also, and hang out…and I wanted to be able to drink too. LOL!He didn’t end up going, which kinda pissed me off. I finally left the house late, what’s new, right? I actually looked at the clock when I left, and I left when I should have been in L.A. already! I was looking forward to at least a 30 minute drive. Somehow, I got there in 25 minutes, and Mapquest can go eat shit…because it told me to take a *left* instead of a *right*. I am horrible with directions, and I have no clue how to get anywhere in L.A., besides my brother’s house, Sunset, and yeah that ’s it i think. Ha! I should have asked my walking Thomas guide boyfriend before I left.

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I have been extra lazy all week. I didn’t do a single thing around the house. Not one, besides cook dinner all week…which was all grilled and easy!

I finally tackled the mountain of dishes in the sink and counter. Seriously, everything we use regularly was dirty besides 1 spoon. An hour later, they were clean! Yay! I hate doing dishes by hand though. It takes so long, and I get all hot and sweaty. I also am dumbfounded on why I wait so long to do them, rather then take 10 minutes at night to do them all.

I’ve washed the kids clothes, got their bag all packed. I’m waiting on their whites to finish so I can put some socks in there for Chase.

These is a couple fly’s in the house. One keeps landing on Betty. It’s annoying the hell out of her. Everytime it lands on her butt, she jumps and turns around all fast trying to catch it. It’s cracking me up.

Here she is waiting for that mofo fly to land on her again. She wants it dead. Ha!

Jeremy just got home about 10 minutes ago. I need to grill some hot dogs and sausages for the kids and us, and then we are headed to L.A. to drop them off, but first we are going to go and hang out with my brother and Agnes!!! She just flew in from Paris on Tuesday, and called me this afternoon to come hang out. So, I am excited about that. I haven’t seen her in a couple years. After the kids leave we will hang out for a while…maybe do something.

So, that’s cool.

My Madre is coming down June 12-15th, then my sister is coming down the 18th-27th…then I am flying to North Carolina July 5th-12th. I can’t wait to go and visit! I just wish Jeremy could go with me, because I will miss him so while I am gone.

Anyway, that is all.

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Happey Motr’s Day Mom.

I Love You mom and will for evre evin win you diye
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So, this year I’m actually talking to my Madre again, so I get to participate in Mother’s Day this year. Except I have no damn clue what to get her. My mom is the type that shops for herself ALL the time. She has all the things she would want. I remember a few years ago, my sister and I were at the Mall and I smelled this perfume, and I told her to smell it because it totally smelled like my Mom. So, we bought it together and my Mom looooved it. I need to find something like that. I know she likes necklaces, so I could try to find her one. I refuse to send flowers, because I find them to be a waste of money, unless you get them on sale at the grocery store or something. Ha! So, what to get, what to get?

Ever since I can remember, I wanted to write a book. I usually get this urge when I read a lot. A few years ago, I was going as far as jotting down ideas in a notebook. I would be walking down the street and I would be reciting to myself paragraphs of a story that I made up. It was as if I was reading a book. I was pretty impressed with myself. I thought how cool would it be to Self Publish a book of your own?

My ex-husband has even had a poetry book of his own published! How cool is that? I’m pretty sure most of those poems were written during our divorce. I’m not sure if he self published though. Either way, I think it’s cool to have a book of your own that is out there and being sold.

My Grandma (Mom’s Mom) even wrote her own book…and it was published! Although hers was a genelogy book, and it is HUGE. It’s not a story she wrote or poetry, but let me tell you it was a lot of hard work researching down her family like. Her and my Grandpa researched for this book for years & years & years. Most of my childhood! That was quite an accomplishment!

So far this year the whole 3 days, Jeremy and I have been fighting. I wrote a couple days ago on the message boards I go to that we don’t fight during financial struggles. Mind you we just started sharing money…but we are totally struggling right now.

Jeremy has never been a real stress case about anything. He’s always the type to be like “What can you do?” I’m usually the one crying over being broke.

Well, he’s totally stressing out, man. While I’m laughing having a good time as we walk through Target picking the necessities and passing over the things I would buy if I had the money…he’s getting all bent out of shape over me joking around that “we are so rich!”

Jeremy has always had a pretty good sense of humor, except when he feels like your teasing him. Then he can’t take a joke…which is annoying. It’s okay to laugh at yourself ya know?

Anyway, work has been slow for him. He worked a whole 2 days last week, and so far this week he worked today only.

So, last night we are at the grocery store, and his bitching about being broke, and I’m being sarcastic saying “I don’t know what your talking about! We have SO much money right now!” then he’s raisinghis voice saying how we need to pay the electric bill, and I’m like well we need to eat too. Then he says it again. Well I got pissed off. Yeah , no shit we need electricity…but I have 2 kids who need to eat. I’m not walking around buying expensive meats and nonsense shit we don’t need. I got some bread, milk, cereal, waters, capri suns, crackers. It was like he was getting pissed that I was buying all this stuff. Then he’s like “Sorry I’m a loser!”

Whoa! Where did that come from? So, it’s like he’s feeling like he’s a loser and like I’m thinking that also. I’ve never thought he was a loser or is a loser. Works slow, what are you going to do, ya know?

Anyway, we are fighting. I’m sick of his attitude. Hey, guess what? We are broke. Get over it. Stressing out isn’t bringing money in, so laugh have a good time, and get over it. Shit always gets paid. There have been times I’ve had NO money, and have had large bills due, and somehow it always works it way out.

Plus, there is a lot of shit that is bugging me right about now with him. The way he runs to his office and shuts the door and stays in here all. night. long when we are fighting. The way he can’t have a conversation after a fight without yelling and walking away from me, only to return later and start the conversation again to do the SAME thing. The way he thinks the next day everything is fine and dandy and thinks he can talk to me like nothing happened. Or how he can go to sleep no problem when we are fighting. Or, or, or.